Basketball

Recently, I been having my basketball game return into my life. I have been an ages never have any basketball game before this due to the busy college life, I realized I am getting fat and very embarrassing on my own appearance. The basketball has reminded me to keep fit and at least exercise for four times in a week to maintain the healthy lifestyle. At the same time, my mood is very down and there are some reasons why would this making me so upset. However, I am getting better. I believe on myself, and I will show my career to all. Basketball really has done the great job on motivating me. I realized sometimes thing that is simple... it can go so dramatically, but for some other kind of people will making thing get worse. The result is actually depend on how the solution decided by the individual. Previously, I been silly making thing get worse and hurting of myself, the emotion is the dangerous weapon of the human being. I been totally out of controlling myself to think negatively on everything, but when my emotion is gone... I solve all the things so easily. I always wonder why the murderer would choose to kill their lover as shown on the new bulletin, case like is very complicating... suppose they would never hurt their lover... The only way to explain why they would done the crime and surrender themselves to the public is their emotion, hate, angry, jealousy is some of the dangerous emotion that would make us think something bad.. if an individual who are weak in standing the emotion.. they might be implementing something which is based on their heavy emotion.

My emotion is recently affected by somethings that have been happened suddenly, I cannot accept the reality so fast. My study is bother, my life changed into dark..... And in this time, a group of friends have invited me for the basketball game...... I am now feeling so touch and I finally realized just because of their invitation, I have loss my motivation on ending my life.... I am really lack of love from others, and when something big happened in my life... I would always choose to give out, I am weak in spirit.

But now, I know such thinking must be changed!!

The night of yesterday, just an hour after my basketball game. I have an experience hanging in the middle of live and death... I almost get killed when riding on my motorcycle in a faster speed, a car from behind trying to over head me in sudden and I was adjusting my helmet with another hand.. this incident almost cause me fall from the high bridge, I was riding my ride near the side of the big and high bridge... at the moment... the only things I thought of is my family.... my friend who are really care about me, and my ex girl friend. In this few second, I found out that I am actually not so willing to end my life.... I actually love my life, I actually want to live! At this moment when I thought I was going to die, I though of my family, my best friend, and why my ex girl friend? The reason why is because I think I would not have any chance to show her the actual good Life... I always wish to tell... life is not about the fun hanging out with the friends outside in the club, life is not just about sex... life is not just about money, and life.... if you really live your life better, you should have chance to feel the love... not just the love from your lover... the love from your family... and you should know the reason why somethings done by your mother to you is actually for your own benefit...

The best thank is belong to the god, he had just gave me a new chance, new life. I always hate about myself when i was young until now, I had pray to god to give a new life... but... unfortunately, the wish has never been heard. But now I finally get what he is trying to express to me, a new life is not about the change of my look.. or the change of my family background... a change of a new life is actually the change of myself, to achieve a new better life... when my own negative personality have changed, I know the point of view in my life will change too... and once I have a better point of view, I will see things simple and easy.

And thank to the basketball at last..

Childish

Maybe I just too childish, my thinking...
I felt really sick about myself..
shame......

I need someone to care about!!

I need a voice!! I want everyone to care about me...
I need someone to hear my voice too!!!
I need you!!!!!!!
BF

Going to have my new Job!!

Thank to my ex schoolmate, I got my new part time job.
This job is really good, I think. I hope I can gained my confidence while working in this inc.

Brachypelma Auratum

My baby Brachypelma Auratum has grow up to 1.5 inches now!
I am very happy to see its new molted body with great color.
This Brachypelma Auratum is one of my favorite in my collection because
I have watch it grow until this size from it's tiny body previously of 1cm...
I love this baby very much!!!

Sucidal

Never again I will think of suicide!
The best revenge to my enemy is my succeed!!
Watch out! I will have my best revenge to you!!
Sweet Avenger.

Something the most I hate about you is you made me love you..

You the best lovers and the worst damage bringer...